Excerpt from my conversation with a nine-year-old:

Me: “So explain to me the significance of the Greek participle.”

Her: “I don’t know anything about particles.”

“No, that’s participles.” (I’m thinking there’s something I should know about Greek particles too but I can’t remember and I’m not going to admit that.)

“So tell me how many genitive uses there are in Greek.”

“Huh?”

“OK, never mind. Tell me how many dative uses there are in Greek.”

“Dates? Well let’s see – they could chop them up and put them in pies or eat them.”

“Uh, no…. OK, well explain to me the significane of the subjunctive mood.”

“Well, sometimes my moods aren’t always so great…. Why are you laughing? I didn’t know my jokes were that funny.”

I’m thinking she knows about as much Greek as I do.

Irony – From the End of the Universe

So about this Greek thing…. The text book is named Greek Grammar Beyond the Basics: An exegetical syntax of the New Testament. And I can think of only a few things that could make me laugh less. But laugh I did.

In a most ironic twist the author included a quote from  Douglas Adams. What do New Testament Greek and Douglas Adams have in common you ask?

Absolutely nothing.

But he included the quote to make a point about the complexities of verb tenses and the struggles that grammar students face. It was a point well made I must say.

“In Douglas Adams’ delightfully insane The Restaurant at the End of the Universe is a brief chapter describing the major problem in time travel:

‘The major problem is quite simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner’s Time Traveler’s Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.

‘Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later editions of the book all the pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.’”

 

You know, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

On Wombats and Methodist Journals

I’ve never really seen a wombat… at least, not in real life. And no, wombats don’t read Methodist journals that I know of. But aparently wombats are divine. Or so I heard at an “imprompto game night” at the Profitt’s last night. Ok, so I didn’t really play games at the game night (funny). But the conversation was entertaining *Aaaaahhh!!* – not to mention a welcome diversion from my Greek final. (A few of you will appreciate that scream there).

Anyway, during the course of the evening it came to my attention that there exists a book under the title Wombat Divine. It’s apparently a kids Christmas story. Never read it myself but the title is interesting.

I was joined at the “imprompto game night” by my fellow co-sufferer Ryan. I think we were much less interested in the games than in the escape from our Greek translation homework. Don’t get me wrong, game nights at the Profitts’ are wonderful things. But who are we kidding? Game time or Greek homework?… Game time or Greek homework?… You tell me.

So after staying nearly an hour and a half longer than I originally told myself I was going to stay, Ryan and I both left to do our homework. (Misery loves company). We (or I) nearly got sidetracked with a game (go figure) in the Dean of Men’s office, but I prevailed and I joined Ryan in the Schmul Library to work on translation.

After finishing one particular verse and feeling like I desperately wanted a break, I leaned back and looked at the clock, commenting that we had been working for a half-an-hour or forty-five minutes. I was then informed that we had been working for two hours. (Oh where does time go when you’re having fun?)

“Are you done?” Ryan asked.

“At least for the next two minutes” I said.

I promptly stood up and randomly grabbed a book off the shelf behind me. I began reading aloud from somewhere in the middle of the book and, I must say, what I was reading was interesting indeed. This eventually lead to both of us pulling books off the shelves and scanning through them, periodically reading aloud.

One of the interesting things about the Schmul Library is it’s collection of very old books. I love old books and the Schmul Library has quite a number of them, some dating back to the late 1700’s I believe. In this collection are several volumes of the Methodist journal, most from the 1800’s. Ryan and I were both wonderfully entertained when Ryan happened upon the journals from some year which I cannot name, but which was a very good year indeed. It was great; Ryan read of witch hunts, love letters (some more like epistles), and the account of one wit-less chap who was persuaded to marry a widow after she threatened to kill herself and her child if he did not. She claimed to have already measured out the poison and he could see no alternative but to marry her to keep her from committing the act. We laughed.

 

My account for this week shall leave out the story about me staying up unitl 5:30 am to do reading apparently for naught.

And be it forthwith noted: I used The Dash.